self-destruction

Self-destruction is a personal project reflecting my own experiences and inner struggles. Created as my main final project in high school, I had full freedom to choose the subject, format, and theme. I decided to explore my mental health challenges, as expressing these feelings through words has always been difficult for me. Using visual representation allowed me to communicate more clearly. The project symbolizes how overthinking can overwhelm the mind, distorting our perception of reality.

The project took place on a beach close to my childhood home, a location rich with personal memories. I chose a childhood friend as the model to represent the supportive people in my life who help me find clarity during tough times. The decision to have the subject shirtless was meant to express the rawness and vulnerability of the emotions involved. Meanwhile, the bag covering the head symbolizes the feelings of blindness and isolation that often accompany those moments. In the background, the ocean and blue sky reflect the calm appearance we show to the world, even when inner struggles continue unseen.

The fire element starts as a small wisp of smoke and gradually grows, showing how anxiety can quickly turn from a minor worry into overwhelming chaos. The whole production took a few hours. After getting permission from local authorities to use fire safely, we set up at the location and began photographing the model with a bag over their head, experimenting with lighting and framing. To incorporate fire safely, we placed the bag on two sticks. The actual shoot was brief since we had only one chance to capture the perfect shot. The final effect came from careful editing and retouching, which tied everything together and strengthened the emotional story.